My Diamond Or My Sun?
by Sarah-Ox
Summary: This is my 1st fanfic, so please review . A story based after the fight with the newborns and Victoria when Bella decides she loves both Edward and Jacob. After finally deciding struggles with friends and enemies threaten their Happily Ever After?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"I need to be alone at the moment Edward." I whispered. He looked at me in wonder and began to take hold of my hand with his icy fingers, I pulled back.

"I said I need to be alone EDWARD! TAKE ME HOME!" I screamed. The shocked and hurt expression on his face mirrored my own. I couldn't believe I had just reacted like that. What is wrong with you? I screamed at myself, as he silently led me to his car. Feeling embarrassed I sat down in the car and laid my head back so he couldn't see the blush spreading over my face. As the silent purr of the engine began I turned to the window to watch the trees turn into a green blur and thought of what led me into this disastrous situation.

Victoria is dead I watched her be killed, shouldn't I be relieved, no. No one was killed during the battle with the newborns, shouldn't I be relieved, no. I finally understand that I love Jacob Black and Edward Cullen shouldn't I be relieved, no. Nothing, I felt numb and confused. At this thought i turned to see Edward staring intently at me as if trying to read my mind even though he knew he could not. Thank God.

"Thank you for the ride Edward, i need time to think could you not come and see me until i call you?" i was decided if i was ever going to get past this I needed time to think i couldn't just leave Jacob or Edward without making sure i had chosen correctly.

"WHAT?" Edward fumed, "We have just ended a horrible, violent battle and you expect me to leave you on your own!"

"That is exactly what i expect you to do Edward, I'm not a child. The kiss with Jacob made me realise, he's right I do love him. I need time to think" I spat. He grabbed my hands and lifted my chin so that my eyes were looking directly into his liquid gold ones.

"Please Bella I understand, but your my fiancé I'm not going to give up without a fight, I can't just leave you here!" I pulled my hands from his for the second time today.

"You won't need to fight this is my decision if any of you two hurt each other I will never forgive you, no matter what my decision is I would like to remain friends with both of you. Now I'll call you when I'm ready. Goodbye Edward." He leant over to kiss me but I turned my head and swiftly exited the car. I did not allow myself to turn around I didn't think I could look at pained expression I assumed his face wore. Breathing in deeply I walked to the front door and opened it. I had to do this no matter how much it hurts I thought to myself as the smell of pizza filled my nose.

"Hey Bella, I ordered some pizza wants some?" Charlie called from the sitting room.

"No thanks dad I think I'm just going to take a shower and head straight to bed!" I replied as I heavily slumped up the stairs.

"Okay, I will be going out soon to check on Jacob, Billy said he was in an accident, nothing too bad but I still want to go see if he's alright" Jacob, I thought I hadn't even checked to see if he's alright!

"Okay dad, wake me up and tell me how it goes when you get back."

"Will do kid!" I started up the shower and sat down on the toilet seat rubbing my temples out of frustration waiting for it to warm up. This is so messed up, I need help I thought to myself as I stripped and got into the shower. The warm water trailed down the knots in my body relaxing me; almost an hour later I got out shocked at how long I had been in there. I towel dried my hair and combed through the knots before slipping into some comfy sweats and a large t-shirt. I lay on the bed, sleep just wouldn't come, bored I walked downstairs and sat on the sofa curling my feet underneath me. Maybe flicking through the channels could send me into slumber. Settling on a cookery show I began to feel my eyelids getting heavy when the door went. Arghh how could Charlie leave his keys I raged as I went to answer it. Angrily I hurled the door open to find a solemn looking Sam.

"Oh Sam, what are you doing here?" I questioned out loud, as I turned back towards the sofa.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Closing the door quietly behind him he followed me and took a seat. "I just came to tell you that Jacob is healing fine, and is asleep at the moment. The small bloodsucker mentioned you would be too occupied to come see him, but would want to know how he is doing." A grave look appeared on his face as I began to sob. Awkwardly he leaned over and patted my back.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I'm so confused I love them both Sam I feel so horrible when I'm with one it's like I'm betraying the other" I cried hugging him close. I don't know why but knowing that Sam had been in a similar situation allowed me to pour my heart out to him.

"Oh Bella," he whispered as he hugged me more tightly, "I know it's hard but you will make the right decision in the end."

"That's it Sam I don't know if I will I don't know what is the right decision. Edwards my diamond and Jacobs my sun!" Keeping grip of my shoulders Sam pushed me back to look into my eyes.

"What do you mean Bella?" he said as he stared into my eyes in wonder. I gulped could I really tell him everything, well there was no one else and he had been in my position before with Leah and Emily.

"Well, Edward dazzles me he's like a diamond, so rare and fascinating I'm so lucky he even looks at me, he is so amazingly unique and beautiful. He's lived 100 years and claims to never have found anyone like me it's like we are star crossed lovers. But Jacob, he's my sun he's always comforting he healed me when I thought I couldn't be healed, he's warm and loving and always makes me laugh and be happy. I've known him forever and since we kissed I've realised he could be so much more he's not just warm and gentle bit he's passionate we could have children and grow old together and he too is so beautiful and unique. They are so different I can't choose." I finished and took in a big breath of air, I felt good like a huge weight had been lifted. I waited for Sam to answer wondering about what a horrible person he thought I was.

With a sigh he began to speak "I see, do you want my opinion Bella although I am obviously slightly biased I do understand, I have been through this myself." I nodded and pleaded with my eyes for him to continue. "It sounds to me like your acting like Edward is a tortured hero from a storybook, but he isn't although your right his life has been tragic he isn't a hero he's a vampire although he struggles against his nature. That's just it, it is his nature nothing will change that. The way I would see it is that diamonds do dazzle you but their shine doesn't last forever, they are owned again and again and eventually they are no longer yours someone with more money and power has them and the shine isn't clouding your eyes anymore. The sun well that stays put for its whole life it's a warm, caring and beautiful thing. One thing I do know is that the sun and diamond cannot be loved together it will end up In hurt, the diamond will cut the sun or the sun will burn the diamond." I looked at him in awe how did he know this?

As if reading my mind he continued "Leah was my sun and Emily my diamond. I chose the dazzling diamond that could never leave me due to the imprint and although I am happy I have to watch every day as my sun becomes a burnt out star. It hurts so much. But I don't know it probably would have hurt just as much to watch Emily if I had chosen Leah. I do not regret my decision I am just warning you make sure you are 100 percent sure when you decide because every action always has a consequence." Silently he stood up tears highlighting his eyes. "I better be off Charlie will be back soon" he strides towards the door as I wiped my swollen eyes.

"Sam." I called "Could you tell Jacob to leave me alone until I call him, I want to make my decision on my own. I hope he gets better and I WILL call him even if he isn't my choice I want to be able to explain myself after this." The tears welled up again as I heard a quiet

"Of course, Bella." The sound of the door shutting broke me from my trance and I trailed upstairs into my bed. Finally having no energy left to fight it as I lay down I felt sleep take over me.


End file.
